Molly's Cronicles: The Novl
by iloveHairyOMG99
Summary: In the finel instalment of Molly's Cronicles, Moley Dubledore-Poder has a nitemare... but it isn't a normel dreem! Its a dethly profesy! Meenwile, Ron Weesely finds himself in Hell, but he finds out more then he ever thot he wood wen he finds out the truth about his heritege! This is a troll-fic written for comedic purposes.
1. Prolog

(AN: this is my story i rote for nanorimo... sadly i didnt finesh on time, but im editing it and gonna finish for this site. **plese reed Talent Sho first**. enjoyy!)

(This is a trollfic. Be warned.)

It all started with a dreem. A scary bad dreem. A premotishon. And it all came down to this in the end. The misterius end.

Saten stud on the other end of the feeld from Moley Dubledore-Poder (she wus adopted ok), grimaceing broodly. He held his firey hell-sord in his left hand (cuz left hands are from the devel wich he is, so.) and was looking relly scary and develish.

"You get one more chance, Saten" sed Moley, pulling out her wand, the very super speshul Elder Wand. Saten frowned even more.

"My Hell's angles will obliterate you!" he groweld, growling like a feroshes lion.

"Hairy?" Moley sed looking to her husbend. He looked back and noded. Moley craced her nuckles before saying her relly good one-linre. "Go home Saten... your drunk."


	2. 1 - Stres

(AN: hey their! Here is the first reel chapter of the storey. i'm posting it rite after the prolog becuse the proloig is so short. After this, i'll probebly post every five deys or so. Injoy!)

"AAAAUGH!" somone sed roringly in what sounded like relly bad pain, like when you step on a plug in cord thing but the medal pointy bits at the end and they hurt youre foot and you go 'maybe im bleeding cuz this hurts alot' but then you look and theres no blud so your like 'wow that hurt i thoght i was bleeding huh crazy world we life in.' Like that you know.

"Hairy?!" Moley eclaimed, jumping out of bed fastly. She ran down the stares of her and Hairy's speshel house to the kichen and dining room part of it on the first floor. "Are you ok?!"

Hairy was on the floor, wite mess all over him and on the walls. "What why is the mayonase evrywere?" she sed confusedly. Hairy looked relly embarassed.

"I was making a q-cumber and mayonase sandwich, sorry swety." he sed as his face flushed. Moley sihed.

"I thoght you were in trubles Hairy! Just dont be so screemy next time you spill mayonase. I'll cleen it." She lifted the Elder Wand and sed "cleenia muchet!" Her super majical wand evaporated the mayonase and it was all fixed.

"Thanks"Hairy sed as he put the jar back in there frige. "So how was your sleep?" Moley sihed for the second time today.

"I had a... nitemare." she sed qwietly.

"Wat! Wiserds havnt had those for a wile cuz of your two-year Golden Rain here at Hockwards as Hedmatress! Your 18!" exclaimed Hairy expositonly.

"I-i know... it gave me a weerd feeling thogh. Dark, and sad, but also like it was reel, like i was seeing somthing so speshel and important. Like it was the most important secret of the universe." Hairy looked at Moley for a wile after, totely silent.

"Weerd." Moley was prety shoked at his not-helpy-ness. Her eyes were like 'is that it?' Hairy got the hint.

"Let's ask Trollony."

* * *

Profeser Trollony's classroom was darkly lit when the cople walked in. There were red draped all over and the tables had red tableclothes on them. The carpet was red with swirly gold desines on them that looked like they were golden plants but not plants, just the kinda shape of leeves a bit, and also not 3d only 2d cuz carpets arent like sculpchers or anything. Even the tables were made of red wood. Evrything was red, ok? And Moley new with her good interier decerating skils that it was relly taky.

Trollony was siting at her desk looking down at a scroll. Her giant eyeballs moved side too side as she read the riting on it. Moley and Hairy went over.

"Hello young ones" she sed drematicly as she looked up and waved her arms. Her glasses and puffy hair made her look like a big-eyed lion magesticly moving its arms.

"Hello Trollony," Moley sed back. "Um I had a nitemare... but it was speshel." she explaned. "It was like I was seeing something importent and secret."

"Fucher." sed Trollony suddenly. "The nitemare you had wasn't acshelly a nitemare, young one... you had a premontishen. What-" Trollony leened in relly close to Moley, who was very uncomfterble du to Trollony's giant eyes. "What did you see?" Moley gulped. She gulped agen. "Is there somthing in your throte" asked Trollony, but Moley shook her hed.

"I saw… for a while, just blackness. But. Then a river apeered, and I saw two armeys a little awey from it. They started casting majic spells at each other. But then it swiched to up close too the river. Two peeple were putting a basket on the river and it floted far awey." Bye this point Trollony was very up close to Moley.

"Yes… I see it now, the profecy, the—" Trollony fell silent. As Moley was about to tap on her sholder she looked back up. A relly deep voice like a man voice esploded out of her like a chunky vomit that you see in the movies where it just gose BLEEUEUUGH and shoots evrywere. That kind of vomit.

"The blud of Dubledore dose not die!" she boomed. Moley notised her eyes looked extra big wen she was in the trance. It wus nasty. "As armeys aproach so dose the imposible child! They gather! Before kinda long they batle on the planes, majic agenst hell-fire, love agesnt hate! The river flows as dose its namesake… And it sees trators, the abandond, gathering… And still a jerney to follow!" Then she came back from the trance place her brain was in.

"Did I say a profesy, my deer?" she asked. "If I did, you shud better figure out what it ment. For me I'm off too get new glases. These ones I think are to small."

As the two walked out of the room, Hairy put his arm around Moley. "So, you allrite?"

"I'm fine." she sed, screeming and fustraded and crying on the inside. Moley was good at controling her outer emotons. She was relly disapointed that Profeser Trollony didn't help her and she actully made it worse like no wonder she got fired by the fat old pink lady in the reel books and movies. Moley was nervus about the batle and hell-fire Trollony sed, and also she was feeling bad from having the profesy dreem. "You shud get too work Hairy" she sed. "I'm going to my office." Hairy gave her a kiss.

"Have a good day, Moley, and don't worry! Its gonna be fine. I'm off too London!" She waved goodbye as Hairy went off too his job as the Prezident of the Britesh Kingdom. She sihed when he was out of site.

Moley was so stresed and she just wanted to be alone so she went over to her starecase to the office.

"Qween B," she sed, and the stares opened and she went on them. She stepped in to her office and went strate to her desk. Moley puled out a drore and grabed a bottle of a majic purple juce. She ploped down in to her chare and took the lid off the bottle, then she did a swig of it. As the purple liqwid went down her throte Moley winced. After she swalowed she grimaced at the sting of the alcahol. It was majic purple vodka, her dad's old bottle.

Moley endured the rest of the day, but she only got throgh with the bottle of majic vodka. By the end of the work day she was stumbeling and relly drunk. She strugled her way home, still drinking, and got only to the kichen, wanting a griled chese (she new the first step, buter your shit), when she pased out on the flor.

* * *

"Ugh," Moley groned, her hed going thun thun thun. There was dried purple majic vodka in her hare and she felt like she was a zombie or something relly ugly and ripped to bits with a thun thun thun head. She slowly got up and rubed her hed. It didn't help at all, so Moley who was kinda still drunk (the majic vodka is relly crazy, ok) got angry at her hand and tryed breefly to cut it off. Eventuly she reealized she had too just suck it up and go to work, not cut of her hand. With a pare of sunglases and a hoodie noone wood ever now she was relly hungover! So Moley went back to Hockwards and hid in her office for most of the day.

When it was lunch, thogh, somone enterd the ofise with inportant news. "Hedmatress!" sed MacGogall, coming in like a recking ball.

"Hmm?"

"It's Dedminey! She's back!"


	3. 2 - Cheese

(AN: im so relly sorry about not uplodeing for a long time... to make it up 2 you im goeng to uplode 2 chapters rite now!)

"AAAUGH" Moley screemed! Unfortunetely even only the menton of the super-bich who made a deel with the devel aka Herminey (if u dont get it reed Talent Sho) afected Moley's hedake preshure. It went super-thun in that moment.

"Hedmatress, she asked to speek with you. She's wating in the Grate Hall." esplaned MacGogall. Moley folowed her down too the Grate hall, and took a big brethe and sed a insperashunal qwote before entering the hall.

"Get redy, super bich."

Moley pushed open the two doors qwicly, like a cool bisness man entering the bilding like BAM. She saw the room was kinda crowded, all the peple nere the side of the room, cuz in the midle of the room stood the demon formaly nown as Herminey, and she smelld like roting meet on a summer day. Admitedly, Moley thot the smel was beutiful but she didn't want anyone to think she was weerd. Even if she didn't like it, she woodn't even care buy then, thogh, cuz she was on a mishen. She walked forward confadently dispite her hang over, somewat entised by the grate stech of rodekill cuming of off Dedminey.

"Hello, Moley" Dedminey sed spitingly. Moley saw a bit of rabit flesh fly out of her teeth then. She new it was rabit becus wen she was litteler at Hockwards she had a pet rabit but Ron ate it and she saw the flesh in his fat mowth.

"Hello." Moley replied cooly and colectavely. "What do you want, Bichminey, cuz if you didnt know I'm relly busy with a scool to run."

"Shut the fock up, Moley." Moley frowned. It was gowing so well. "I'm hear as a messinger for Saten." Evryone gasped, and Moley took off her sunglases slowly.

"Mother of god..." she sed, not even beleving it cuz it was relly bad. Noone wants to talk with Saten cuz he's a evil, relly evil devel thing, like the king devel!

"He has a reqwest… you see, he's planing on taking over the erth, but he wants speshel revenge on you and Hairy. But he's giving you two some choyses. You can ether kill yourself and Hairy, or be locked up and torchered forever in hell. If you don't kill Hairy and yoreself bye six tonite, Saten will keep a speshel place for you wen he takes heven and hell onto erth for his relly evil plan. Or maybe he mite even capcher you erly. Anyweys, we'll now if you do it or not."

Moley stood still, mowth conturted in to a grimice. Bichminey had alot of nerf to come in to the scool and threten Moley and Hairy, the two most perfect beings in egistinse acording to Prezident Obama. (Ya its tru he relly sed that.)

"How dare you, Dedminey. I WONT DO IT!" Moley exclamed, wiping out the Elder Wand and pointing it at Dedminey.

"I woodn't do that, Moley," sed Dedminey meschivusly, grining and lifting out her hands towards Moley. She wus thretening to use her fire powers! The Hedmatress kept her wand pointed for a while, out of big lots of furyusness at Dedminey, but then!

"Ok, Dedminey," sed Moley, lowering her wand. "But!" Bichminey's grin faded. "I'm not going to kill Hairy or myself, alright? I'm going to come down there with a armey of the best dam wizards of Hockwards ok and I'm going to cut off Saten's hed! And yor hed to but noone relly cares about u Bichminey noone ok? Thats why your parent left u in the dumster wen you were little and you had to wate for a hobo to adop you." Dedminey just scowled, but Moley new she hit a big nerve, like the vena cava u now? Moley steped closer with confedense. "I will destroy evry last one of you hell's angles working for Saten, ok? Just run back to your baby-dady and tell him Moley's Armey is cuming for him, you lady hoos pregnent with a demon baby."

Dedminey glared at Moley. "There's no point, you know. Saten alredy has a massive armey, and you'll never get as many people. I even checked and it's stetis—" Moley punched Dedminey like she never punched enyone before like all off her rage was pored in to that hit, and it was filled with so much furey that it riped her face skins open on the cheek. blud flew around like tiny red nives that went pokey-pokey at anyones skins that it toched.

"Demon blood." wispered Moley, wipeing of her hand. Dedminey held her hand to her bloodyed cheek and groweled before disapeering back to hell.

"Moley are you ok" aksed a blond girl as she went up to Moley.

"Ya I'm imune to demon blud so its ok Lola." Moley was always kinda freeked out by the weerd girl. She reemembred one time wen she overherd Lovegod talking about how she was a big fan of Metalicka. Like wat?

"Here's a gift Moley" sed Lola, pulling out a small clothe sack. "Its fery dust. Relly majicel. Keep it!" Moley hesitently took the bag. She thoht maybe it was anthrax, cuz evryone nows medelheds are crazy and vilent and Moley new that most peple were jelus of her beuty and hare and overall perfecshen. So she had a motive. Moley new wat a motive is becuse she wached alot of csi and law and order and that stuff. That's also were she lerned how to take her glases off like a cool persen. But. Moley was relly nice so she tuk the dust anyways.

"Thanks… I gota go wash my hare ok bi." Moley walked awey relly qwickly frum the creppy girl, not giving her enoph time to say goodbi. And. She didn't even hafe to wash her hare she was just lieing. She was acshully going to her ofise to start planing. Planing an armey agenst Saten.


	4. 3 - Ant-agonest

It was febuary third when Ron Weesely finaly made it in to hell. Of corse he didn't now what day it was, but he new he had ben wating for a wile. For a relly long time he was stuck in the grey, a dark place were peple wate to get in to heven or hell. Ron's paperwork was siting at the botom of the bin, so it tuk months for it to finealy get thru. That day wen he woke up, he wasnt in the grey anymor. He cud tell cuz evrything was red. The walls of the room he was in were red, the floor was red and wen he luked down at hiself he saw that his cloths were red to. The thot that a stranger undresed him made him feel weerd in a nice way.

"Hey are u Ron Weesely?" sudenly asked a persen siting in the corner of the room. There were a bunch of peples in the same room as Ron, but there were no chairs or beds.

"Ya why?" sed Ron.

"Your up next i herd them sey so" sed the guy.

"Ron Weesely" sed a new guy, opening the red door from the outside. "Your up next." Ron stud up slowly and shakely. He herd the guy in the corner wisper "I told u so" as he was escorded awey.

Ron passed lots of dors as he was taken awey. He cood here screeming coming thru some of them as he passed. After a wile they finealy came to werever the cop was taking him.

"This is the jugement room" he esplaned. "Go in and sit down in the chare in the midle of the room. Ok bi." The cop walked awey and Ron loked at his but. It was a nice but. After he was done looking at the but he pushed open the door and enterd the jugement room.

The jugement room was a empty red room with only a dark red chare in the center off it. But there were also a one big mirors on eech of the walls that didnt have a door on them. Ron went and sat down in the chare relly shakely cuz he was nervus. Ever since he was a kid he was scared of mirors and now he was kinda surounded by them a bit. It made him taste doritos.

The doritos taste was becus of his grama's tajic deth. Wen he was a kid he was staying at his nintey yearold grama's house and she had alot of mirors. She was a narsisist, but a loveble narsisist so. And Ron was eating a bag of doritos in her speshel miror room were she wood just stand in her pretyest dress and bask in her relly old, rinkly glory. But. Ron was in there and she was in the kichen making doritos salad (Ron relly liked doritos ok) wen all off a suden he herd her rinkly screems. She was so old she had a rinkly voice, even Morgen Freemen sed so and he's the voice expert you now so you can't argiu with that. But!

Ron ran to the kichen and saw his ded grama with insermountible shards of class stiking out of her and all over the flor. The miror on the kichen seeling that was there for gests to see her cook from like above, it somehow fell and stabed her in the brane and all over her. blud wus splatered evrywere in the kichen and a big splocher of it was under her on the flor. She was cut up evrywere and big gashes were all over her body. Ron cood even see kinda part of her brane. That esperiense scared him not literely but in his mind. So he was super scered of mirors from then-on. And if he ever did see doritos or mirors he wood get a panic atack on him from his trateros brane and need jucy meet to stop it.

So, back in the jugement room Ron was having a panic atack. He was trying despretly to open the door and escape the mirors but it was locked as soon as he shut the door erlier.

"AAAAUGH" he sed loudley and screemly. He started to wale histaricly and pound on the red door with all his mite. But badly for Ron he didn't have very much mite. "NO NO NO!" he yelled and bye the last rore he wasn't himself and a deep rogh voice was shouting. Ron's panic had releesed his inner demon (the resen he was sent too hell anyways other than maybe his stupidety) wich took imediete controll. It tuced away his wizerd side and took over. Ron's dorito taste had unloced imnense power and unstopible strenth that day.

Ron was panting now, rage flowing thru his vanes. He wipped around and did a super jump to the window at the opesite end of the room. He crashed thru it and landed on a sientist in a red lab cote. He grabed a hold of her geneus-super-big-brane hed and tore it rite of, blud esploding onto the already red walls like a new cote of fresh paint. Ron let out a snarl before tareing off her arms and eeting them like a starveing homeles man who wood eat a persen like that's how hungry. The other sientit in the room was to scared of Ron to even move. When he had swallowed the arms he let out another growl like a demon lion, then tackled the other sientist. Ron clawed at his face, riping out an eyeball and taring his face skins. He was about to rip out his throte wen the hidden room's door opend and a red man with two large horns walked in waring a darker red sute.

"Ron Weesely," he sed, seemingly not careing about Ron being in the proses of killing somone. "You've ben acepted." Ron's rage dide down and he looked at Saten with confushen.

"What do you meen so did I pass the jugement?" he sed qwestonly.

"Yes," sed Saten back. "We were giveing this test to all of the male jinjers, looking for hell's chosen one. Well, we fownd him. Its you. Now get of that man and come with me."

"So your adopting me?" sed Ron to Satan as they walked down a hallway.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Maybe you won't want to heer this, but I am your true parent." esplaned Saten. "You're mind was born from mine actelly and only your body is from your mortel parents. Now that you reterned to your tru home it wood be apropreite to reunite."

"Do you have parents" Ron asked? Saten looked away and ignored the qweston.

"Here's the Pit." he sed pointing to the geiant hole in the flor. "Only ones with the royal blud can survive the fall so any inttuders that jump down just esplode on the ground."

"How do we survive but not evryone else thogh? And how do we get up?" asked Ron stupidly.

"We'll use our mounts, but just jump" he sed, pushing Ron in to the pit!

"See it was ok!" Saten sed smartly to Ron at the botom of the Pit. "Now let's get you your room." He led Ron down a hallway and then went left. Down that hall at the end was Ron's room. Saten opened the door slowly then gestured for Ron to enter. Ron was amased. There were sords and dagers evrywere. The chandeleer was made out of small blades and on the walls large axes were mounted. The bedframe was made out of swords, and the bed itself looked estremly comfy.

"Evrything in here is yours, son." Saten sed afectonitely. Ron had never felt so happy and cared for in his hole life. His mortel parents uselly ignorde him. "I think you shud go to bed soon becus it's prety late. I sent for you at eite P.M. and I need to make plans with your help in the morning."

"Thanks, father, I will. I…" Ron hesitaded cuz he only just met his reel father but alredy felt close to him. But then Saten put a hand on his sholder.

"I love you to Ron."

* * *

"Atenshon all students and teechers"boomed Moley's voice over the Hockwards innercom. "There is an emergency meeting hapening today, rite now, febuary forth, imedietly in the Grate hall about Herminey Ranger's messige yesterday. If you don't come you will be espelled or fired from Hockwards." Moley sihed as she leened back in her comfy Hedmatress chare. She culd feel her dad's butprint in the seat, worn in from yeers and yeers of sitting there. Moley felt a teer dribling from her round eyeball and onto her cheek. It stayed there for a milesecont then rolled down and off her chin and in to the air. The lite reflecded off the driblet as it tumblred thru the airs. It splatted on Moley's jeens and was abzorbed by the fabric.

Moley was relly sad. Her dad was gone and now Saten's Armey was thretening to torcher her and Hairy if they didn't both die. It had been two years since Abus Dubledore pased away but Moley was stil gilty about how she killed him to get the Elder Wand. But. Moley shoodn't have ben gilty, cuz it relly wasn't her falt it was all Ron's! He was the target of Duble and Snap's bet and then his boyfrend Dreco got angry about it and tryed to kill Dubledore! But! Snap saved him and killed Dreco, but then killed himself and Abus becuse he thot it was Abuses falt Dreco dyed. And he cudn't live with himself after he killed Abus. But! Abus wasn't relly ded, then Moley finished him off, and she's perfect and butiful so its compleetly ok. Sadly Moley wus having douts about her perfecness.

She clozed her eyes and cryed a little bit, but then remembred the botles of majic alcahol in the dror. Moley reeched over and pulled open the dror, botles clinkering and liqwid inside off them swurling. She grabed the first botle she saw and held it up. Moley just stared at it not drinking or moving just looking at it. Her mowth conterted in to a scowl as anger willed up in her.

"GAH" she yelled sudenly, like a sneeze noone especs, standing up throwing the bottle at the wall. It esploded and glass bits went evrywere. The orenge majic alcahol inside splacherd all over relly qwickly like the snot from the sneeze noone especs. And Moley just stood there bye her desk cleching her fists relly tite. She was done with her alcaholicnes ok? She sihed and let her hands not be all clenched up and walked towards the majic starecase that took her out of the ofise. It was time for the meeting.

As Moley walked in to the Grate hall, she herd with her good eers the students wispering rumers about what was gonna hapen dering the meeting. Moley, nowing the facs, new none of them new wat was acshully hapening. It was going to be a new scool with new rools. Moley thoght it cud even be a rap song or something but one of the sader songs not like the Slem Shady ones or watever.

"Atenshon evryone!" she sed boomingly at the opium at the back off the room. All the students turnt to look at her, the most powerful wizerd in the world. "As u now yesterdey there wus an apeerence of a deseesed student Herminey Ranger. She made threts of war and torter to me and the hole erth. So we need to stop her and who she's werking for: the devel Saten!" A big gasp like HUUH went thru the crowd. "As u now, Saten is in hell rite now but he's planing to take over all off erth, Herminey sed so. We need to make a armey of powerfel wizerds to stop him." Sudenly a wich ran forwerd.

"I volenteer as tribute!" she sed loudly. The hall was qwiet for a bit, but then the hole scool laffed at her and she qwietly went back to her seet.

"There are no volenteers" Moley esplaned. "cuz most of u are relly dum and we can't have a big groop of idiets trying to kill Saten ok? Your relly stupid no ofense but I mean. I'll colect up all the peple who will be in the armey after this meeting and they wont be taking anymore clases until after the batle." When Moley menchened that they woodn't be taking anymore clases the wole hall bersted in to loudness like a boob bersting out of a costume at the Superbole. It made Moley angry cuz she hated nipslips.

"QWIEEEEEEEET" she sed yellingly! "This is series like no joke ok. If Saten wins, the hole erth will be ruled by him and I'm the only one who shud ever rule the hole erth so we need to stop him" evryone noded. "Even the peple not in the army well still have jobs and prolly not have class ether. Are there eny qwestons?" Moley alredy new there wood be qwestons, cuz all the peple there (even the teechers) weren't as smart as her and cudn't see the ovius. But. She was nise and let the peple think she didn't no.

"I have one" sed a blond girl.

Lola Lovegod thoght Moley. Off corse. She's relly dum. "Go ahed." she sed outloud.

**"Why is Herminey standing behind you?"**


	5. 4 - Hell and Hairy

(AN: thanks for eny of the revews you gey's have ben posting. enjoy the next chapter!)

When Moley woke up her hed was going thun-thun-thun agen. She was sitting in a completly dark room and cudn't see anything. Her arms were tied up to somthing behind her and her legs were tied up at the ankles. She was scared for a bit cus she didn't have her wand, but then she new. Moley new just wat to do, becuse she's the Moley and nows evrything ok? She clozed her eyes and relaxed her body and started breething relly slow and smeling the lavendur. Then in her mind the thoght the spell name. She opened her eyes to see wut she wanted too: she was a invisable gosty thing and her reel body was sitting on the ground sleeping. She looked at her body and relised she kinda looked like elen page kinda. And she felt like her name was relly Iden wen she was floty. But! That kinda dosen't mater but this is the derecter's cut so.

Moley imedietly drifted thru the wall and found herself in a red hallway. She felt like she was relly underground. She decided to go rite and not left and wen she came to another hall she went down it. At the end of the hall was a door that she drifted rite thru. And! Of all the things she cud've seen and all the peple she cud've met she found Ron! Moley was delited in a relly vilent way. Ron was still sleeping even thogh it was like prolly nine therty in the morning, and she saw a firey shandeleer hanging from the ceeling. She floded up to it and grabed a candle in her gosty invisable hand. Moley floded back down and was about to lite Ron's bed on fire wen the door opened! She put out the candle and was relly qwiet and spyly.

"Ron," sed Saten. Ron woke up and yawned and Saten went over too the bed. "Get dresed and come to the throne room like the big room a the end of the mane hall. We need to werk fast, cuz Moley mite wake up soon and shes relly powerful so." Ron noded sleepyly and Saten left. If Moley wasn't trying to be sneeky she wood have let out a sad gosty sihe. But! She wasn't gonna let it get her relly down cuz she was Moley Dubledore-Poder! And she was the chosen one! And relly perfect and beutiful and she was the Hedmatress of Hockwards! So Moley went out of the room and went back to the mane hall and down it away from were she was being kept.

Then she saw the throne room. The walls were dark red like old blud siting on a ded roting corpse. The floor was liter red with red carpets like the ones at award shows. There were two thrones at the back of the room and one was gold and one was silver but that was just the medal part like the cushy bits were red. In the midle of the room was a big but like lowish round stone table that had a bunch of maps and papers on it and a red tablclothe. Saten dresed in a red sute was standing next to the table and looking at a big map. Moley floded closer and saw it was a map of Hockwards!

Ron came in to the room then wareing a red sute and a blac shirt thing under it and a darker red tie. He was also waring a gold crown like Saten was!

"Hello sun," Saten sed, but then! CRASH! Somthing hit the throne room shandeleer! "Gards! Check the room for Moley!" sed Saten, but then looking up were Moley was. Moley cringed even tho she new he cudn't see her so she wus safe. She was so suprized that Ron was actully a prinse she moved relly big and so hit the shandeleer!

But! She wasn't so safe after all cuz Saten pulled a gun out of his sute pocet on the inside! He lifted it up and started shooting at around the shandeleer and Moley dove away thru the airs.

"Her body's there, my king" esplaned a gard that just came back in to the room. "She's sleeping." Saten stoped shooting and looked at the gard. Moley took the chance to flote back and grab a candle. She went over relly secret to the thrones and set them on fires.

"Get Alender and Herden." sed Saten. Moley was confused as she floated around setting the drapes and stuff on fire. She never herd of Alender and Herden before, and Moley new all the facs! But then she ignored the rest of there conversashen and kept seting things on fires. And then fineally the hole room was a flamey mess esept for the table, so she just threw the candle down. She qwickly went back to the room and untide the ropes on her body before going back in.

"Few" she sed releeved. "But now I need to find my wand!" Moley stood up and kiked down the door awsomly like the cool Bruse Willes but not a guy cuz like Moley's a symbel of femanetity. Then she ran out.

Back in the throne room Saten was trying to save his maps. "No no no" he sed angryly as he tryed to put out the fires with his hands! He was Saten so fire didn't hert him. Wile he was doing that Ron started to chase after Moley becuse after how much she hert him he wasn't going to let her get awey after they fineally had her. As he ran he thoght more about the bad things she did too him so he was getting angryer and angryer. Wen he fineally had her in his site the rage was to much for him and his demon side came out.

Moley was running faster then she ever did, nowing that Ron was behind her. She wonderd since wen he got so less fat and more better at runing. But! Her thots were stoped by the wall in front of her! There was no way to go with Ron runing relly fast up to her. Then she looked down and saw her wand! Just on the flor for no reson and no protecshon there or anything. Moley grabed it and pointed up and sed in a relly awsom voice "unosa weraluna" and flew up relly fast and landed next to the pit but at the top!

"NO!" Ron sed growly and loudly as Moley piced up her wand. He wonderd why they just left the wand on the ground like they droped it but then stoped wondering that wen he realized Moley was flying up the pit. He did a relly loud growl but then jumped up after her and dug his fingers in to the wall of the pit and becuse of his super strenth it werked. Ron jumped agen and grabed on to the ege of the pit then climed up.

Moley ran down random hallways and unpland coridoors, casting insenduo at all the flameable things she saw. Her plan was to burn all the stuffs she cud to like sabetage Saten, then cast teleportonius Hockwards and be back at scool. But! Ron wus geting closer, and Moley needed to relly make sure she wud make things harder for Saten wile she had the chance. So she had too make sure she was timeing rite.

Moley turned a corner and kept running, onse casting insenduo but like their wasn't very much to burn. She looked back and saw Ron geting closer and she cud her him groweling like a beest as he ran. But then she looked back forward and saw a sine! It sed Electricel room This Way and had a arrow pointing down a smaller hallway. Moley went down the coreidor but she looked back and Ron was about to jump thru the airs! She pointed the wand and sed insenstrem as Ron was relly relly close too landing on Moley and a big streem of fires came out of the Elder Wand and went on Ron. He still landed on Moley tho and she droped her wand as she fell to the ground. Wen Moley fell her head smached in to the hard red floor. Ron pined down her arms to the ground relly hard with his demon strenth, brusing them, but as her site got less blury Moley kiked up her leg at Ron.

He went "RAAAAA" in pane and leted go of Moley's arms. She went deep inside her own brane and sumoned her Hare Powers in the same second he let go off her arms. All her curly hares went "zing" as they turned in to soled hard medal. Moley went "Huuugh" and hed buted Ron in the belly, ignoring the pane in her hed and sending him flying awey.

So Moley qwickly stumbeled up and limped to the electricel room, seporting herslef on the walls.. When she was inside she slamed it shut and locked it and did a protecting spell to. The room was small and had alot of panels with swiches and leevers and things on them. There were a few file cabnets and also a shelf of boxes with wires conected to them. As Ron banged on the door Moley worked fast dispite her hedake. She did insenduo on the wired boxes first and then torched up the papers in the file cabnet, but not before saving a magezine from the mess. It sed that Jenifer Aneston was having a baby! and Moley luved babys. Ron kept slaming on the door.

"I'll get u yet my prety!" he sed greenly but in a relly growely and deep voice. Moley burned the panels first, and then terned to the door that Ron almost had open. She tuk a big brethe then "fuss ro da'd" at the door and it went "boof!" and broke off the hinges. It pushed Ron over and he flew back with the door and it landed on top of him. Moley wached the hole thing but then felt the flames at her back. She took a last look at the big mess she made then casted the spell and teleporded back to Hockwards. But!

As she started to caset the teleport spell, out of the corner of her eye she saw ron with like red eyes jumping at her! He landed on top of her and Moley axeidentely stabed him with the Elder Wand, brakeing it into two peeces! Ron grabed at his woond as Moley grabed the peece that fell to the ground. Then she punched him in the face and it was such a relly good punch that it pushed him off of her! Ron flew into the cabnets and Moley got up and ran, limping a little, off despite her hurted legs.

"Ron!" caled Saten as he ran up the hallway then went left in to the room. He went over to Ron and helped him up, notising his red demon eyes. "Where's Moley?" Saten asked, but Ron didn't look at him he only groweld and sprinded off. Saten sihed and made a desishen. Chaseing after Moley wood be frootless, and also not efishent cuz Ron was alredy doing that, so he desided to go back to the Pit and bump up the secureity meshers. As he hurried to the Pit he came across two gards. "Ah, just the peple I was looking for. We need all the secureity members we have out for a escaped wizerd girl. Order the cameras Code Wite for non-etheral, Moley Dubledore. Curly brown hares, eiteen yeers old. Capcher her without killing her. I'd rather her get awey then die, becus she must suffer. My son shood still be persuing her and he's fully demonised so do not stop him unless he is defenetly poses a fatel thret to Moley."

Moley was going through rooms and rooms, hoping noone was gonna be in any of them. Luckyly noone seemed to be in the part of hell she was running thru, but that was also kinda not lucky, cuz Moley also wanted to get to the most importent rooms and destroy them before escaping somehow. That noone was in any rooms made Moley wonder how hell worked. Moley only new a few things about hell, like evrything is red and it's a relly giant bilding. But that was it! She gessed it was probably a bildng that expands majicly, but can't despand so all the parts of the bilding that weren't needed just got abandend.

As Moley opened a door from one room to another room, she notised a security camera in the room she was gonna go in to. Since the Electricel room she haden't seen any cameras so Moley gessed that the new room was importent. But! Moley herd the aproching footsteps of a person! But also. She notised they weren't as crazy sounding as Ron's footsteps. Moley qwickly thot up a plan. She shut the door and looked around the room she was in. There were boxes evrywere but they all looked liek they were full of things so she coodn't hide in them. So Moley desided to just hide behind a stack of boxes that let her see the door that she needed to go thru. Then!

The other door opened and a guy in a black suit and red shirt walked in. He walked to rite in front of were Moley was hiding then—BAM! Moley tackeld the guy and snaped his neck. He went limp like a cold spageti noodle wareing a suit. Moley took out her emergensy vile of polyjouse poshen and took a hare from the guys hed and put in in the tiny contaner. It dizolved relly fastly in the jar and Moley chuged it down. Before her very eyeballs she turned in to the guy, and then she checked his ded pockets for any speshel cards or stuff. She found a ID card that she took along with his hole suit jacket.

Moley agen herd the sound of footsteps! And they were super defenetely crazy footsteps! She qwickly draged the guys body to her hiding place and went thru the door to the important room.

The room was brite with red lite. It ashelly was so sudenly brite it hurt her eyeballs. There was a door at the end of the sqware room, and security cameras were at each corner. Some red wood benches were around the room and some red plants in pots were next to them. Moley aproched the door and found it had a card scaner thingy, so she pulled out the ID card and luckyly it opened up the door.

Moley opened the next door to see herself behind a desk in a kinda wateing room. There was a woman in a red dress typeing awey on a computer, prolly a recepshonist, but there was a empty chair at the second computer behind the desk. Moley saw some peple not in red siting on other chares not behind the desk, wating for something. Noone aproched the desk. Moley desided to fake it till she made it and sat down at the computer nonshalently. She even wisled qwietly for aded nonshalent effect. The computer screen went un-black as she sqwigled the mouse, showing a firey destop background. She clicked on the Hellserch shortcut and a window came up, with a serch box, a passwerd box and a small blerb thing of riting. It sed "Hellserch: find anything in the Totel Hell Database. Just enter your ID code if your the rite level of axess and serch." So Moley did the instrucshens and serched for hole map of hell and a rezult came up. She downloded the imege and looked at it.

The map showed all the parts of hell and showed all the secshons in diferent colers, and had the importent plases with markers on them. Aparently Moley was in Resepshen Room A in the residenshel area. The data core rooms, that holded all the speshel infermashen, was deep into the midle of hell. Hell was like a relly big rectangle, with a small sqware in the midle that was the data core, and then around the top and right sides was residenshel area, relly southest was the lifestock and blud bank it sed. And the map showed security stations and qwarters were all around the data core rooms, so Moley new she had to think about how to get by that, but that wood come later. For now Moley had all the extra facs she needed, she just had to make it there.

* * *

Hairy was shocked when he got the fone call. He was just sitting in his ofise reeding a paper wen his speshel, shiny, black and old Prezident fone rang like cleer bells in the nite.  
"Wands" sed the caller, an old lady with a kinda wrinkly voice. Hairy imedietly recenised it as Profeser Mc Gogall, the coolest profeser at Hockwards who beet him and Moley in a drinking contest one time.

"Continu" sed Hairy in reply to the code word for news about the majic world.

"Moley was taken by Herminey." Hairy's face went pale, like someone tickled all the pink out of it. "It was only a few minutes ago. Moley was making an anouncement about Herminey, she appered yesterday, you see, and Herminey apeered and nocked her out. She sed she was taking Moley to hell and then they disapeerd. I raced up to her office to call you. Profeser Flitnick and the others are keeping the students calm, but we need you to come. I found some notes on her desk—" Hairy herd the shuffels of papers, "and they're all about an orginizashen to fite agenst Saten wen he trys to take over. I think you could—" McGogall took the fone awey from her ear and looked at it. Then she lifted it back up. "Hello?"

Hairy suddenly poofed in to Moley's offise rite next to McGogall, causing her to drop the phone in suprize!

"Sorry Mineva" he sed, picking up the phone and hanging it up. "So where are these papers?" McGogall handed them over to Hairy who started skiming over the pages. Not literelly tho, cuz he didn't have the eqwipment to do that on him at the moment.

"You'll notise she hasn't egasctly named this armey yet," sed McGogall. "But she's outlined evrything else: were to trane, wich students are in it, wat spells to teech them first, and even ideas for a logo. Like Moley was super redy, she planed out evrything, but then she was taken…" At the last little bit of the sentense (like about her being gone), Hairy looked up, then to McGogall.

"She planed out evrything…" he sed repetively. McGogall noded. "Coodn't… coodn't we just get someone else to leed the armey? All the instrucshens are here! And wen the armey is traned up, we'll storm in to hell to save Moley, just like a giant swothing of diareah crashing feroshusly agesnt the inside of a lactose-intolerent-person's unyeelding buthole, longing to brake free! Esept we will brake thru, and we'll reek havoc the same as the fineally sucessful diareah reeks havoc on the shiny porcelin bowl!"

"So you'll leed the armey." sed McGogall kinda qwestonly but like kinda just saying it at the same time. Like wen your brother is esplaning were he dumped it and he's saying how he like stabed him but your kinda confused about what he relly ment, cuz its not relly esplaning if he dumped it in the river or not so you just gess what he ment. Like that.

"I… There isn't anyone else to do it, is there?" he sed back. McGogall replyed with silence, wich relly isn't a very good reply. Cuz like if you half-ask half-tell your brother about if he relly dumped it and he just goes "..." not like "dot dot dot" like he ses nothing, then you'll keep dunking his hed in water and almost drownding him untel he tells you properly if he did it, so silence well leed to torcher.

Hairy sihed and looked down at the papers agen. "Well the only way to get her back is to get the army together and redy to fite…" he sed to himself, "so let's get down to the Grate Hall and round up the solgers."

"Okay" sed McGogall.

"QUIEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!" sed Hairy boomingly as he and Profeser McGogall entered the Grate hall. All of the chaty students shut up imedietly. "As you no, Hedmatress Moley Dubledore was taken by the hell demon Herminey this morning," he esplaned as he walked up the middle of the hall to the tall wood opium. "And she sed something about a Hockwards armey, traned to fite Saten, if I'm corect." He was corect. "And now that she's gone, that armey she was forming is more importent then ever. She left a bunch of notes on the armey, includeing the list to be conscriped, and so the armey is still going to be made, and I'm going to be the leader until we get Moley back from hell."

By then Hairy had reached the opium and was standing behind it. "The first meeting of the armey will be rite after I'm done esplaning things. Evryone else will leave and have no clases today. So… This is now an emergencey time at Hockwards. Things well be very diferent, and all student shood be on gard most of the time, considering as Herminey made it in here who nows what else cood too." Moley acshelly new, but Hairy was not that smart, and Moley was in hell anyweys. "There will be a speshel job for each student, so evryone well be bisy. As you alredy no, the armey will trane and lern how to fite relly well with majic, but there well also be people who lern how to make armer, people who well lern how to heel and be medecs for the armey, and there well be a group that reserches on Hell and Saten and ways to kill demons. But for today only the armey members will be working. So these are the members:"

Hairy cleered his throte before listing off the relly lots of peple in the armey. "...Ho Chang, Hanna Abet, the Camera Guy Creepy or something, Never Longbotom, Shames Finegan," Hairy continued. "...Lola Lovegod, all the Weeselys here…" there were twentey-ish more names on the list that Hairy red. "Now, evryone else can leave, but not the peple who's names i called." All the other peple rushed out of the Grate hall like a flood. The polisy is there are no cellfones in the Grate Hall, so Hairy gessed they all relly wanted to play Candy Crush. "Now," Hairy starded, "Everyone here: we are the armey."

The Camera guy put up his small anoying hand. "Yes?" sed Hairy.

"What's the name of this armey?" he sed. "Evry armey needs a name other than just the armey." Even tho Hairy new Camera Creepy wasn't relly rite, he still thot a name wood be nice.

"We are… Dubledore's Armey. Named after the best person in existense, my tru love, and the person who will save the erth from Saten."

"So, were acshelly named after Beyoncé?" sed Lola Lovegod.

"Well, Beyoncé is grate, and maybe she cood defete Saten with a performense, but I ment Moley. That's why its called Dubledore's Armey and not Queen B's Armey." Even Hairy new some facs.

"Oh."

"Well," Hairy started agen,"we are Dubledore's Armey. Evry other meeting well be in the Changey-Room, so we can use its changey-powers to get us manekins and stuff like that. If you miss a meeting and don't personaly tell me why or if its a bad reson, you will be hunted down and hit with a nicely cooked stake." The armey gasped. "Why are you so scared of nicely cooked stakes? You will face much werse on the battelfeeld." Hairy notised some sqwirms wen he sed there wood be werse, so he desided to let them no wat he did to make sure they coodn't qwit.

"And if anyone wants to qwit, to bad, you can't. I alredy had Profeser McGogall take a blud sample and use it on a contract that binds you forever to serve Moley Dubledore and Dubledore's Armey. If you try to qwit you will awtematicly be in the worst pane you cood almost ever be in."

"How?" sed Camera stupidly.

"Majic u idiet. Why did Moley even choose this selecshen of peple? Some of you are relly relly dum!" And that was comeing from Hairy! "Anyways, we'll meet evryday, even weekend days, in the Changey-room at nine in the AM. Remember, trying to qwit well give you more pain then staying." Hairy looked to McGogall. "What time is it?" She looked to her wiserd wach.

"About 9:40" she sed.

"Hmm..." Hairy scrached his chin, wondering wat to do.

* * *

Moley stood up from the desk and turned around, but she boofed rite in to a young agent with a scared look on his fase.

"S-sorry sir," se sed, moving over. "Th-this is my computer… I'm just a resepshenist Mr. blud Prezident sir…" Moley realised something beutiful then and she coodn't hold in a smile.

"Thank you," she sed, slaping him on his sholder before walking out from behind the counter and out to a hallway. The resepsenist sat down and looked at his computer, and realised the Slaughter King was looking up a map of hell. He thot it was relly weerd, but for the time beeing he ignored it, after all, noone esept for Saten himslef qwestons the Prezidents, and the blud Prezedent was the scareyist of them all.

Moley was exatic to lern that the persen she was pertending to be was a relly powerful Prezedent, and by the looks of the resepshonist he was relly feered by evryone! That wood make it way esier for Moley. As she walked down a mane hallway, a red golf cart with painted flames on it pulled up beside her.

"Escuse me, Mr. Blud Prezedent," sed the female driver nervusly. "Wood you care to axept a ride from me to your ofise?" Moley gesed it was a hellish custom to ofer any hi ranking peple a ride, becuse it looked like the driver relly didn't want to ask.

"Of corse," sed Moley, and she climed in to the cart. The ride was all silence, but Moley was still being relly carefull about how she acted. She made sure she sat very strate and had a kinda frown the hole fifteen minete way. Moley fineally saw the two duble dors (hehe) and a sine that sed "Blud Sector", and the golf cart pulled over.

"Uh, good day," sed the woman, and waved. Moley simpley noded with the slite scowl still on her fase before turning and entering the Blud Sector.

Wen Moley walked in to the Blud Sector, the strong smell of roting meet puncheded her in the nostrels. Moley, even tho she didn't relly wanna admit it, didn't have to preetend to like the smell: she acshelly loved it, like deep in her hart.

The entrence room was kinda big, but there were three sets of duble dors other than the ones behind Moley that she just came from, one set in eech wall. She rememberd from the map each one was the entrence to a hallwey. But. Moley forgot wich hall went were. But! There was a sine over eech dors so it was all ok.

Moley didn't relly kno what exacly to to, so she diesided to go to the Blud Prezedent's ofise to think. From the sines, Moley new she had to go thru the dors in front of her. So she went thru the dors in front of her. The hall was prety short, and there were only three dors in it. She qwickly found the one with a plack that sed "Rango Lemenson, Blood Prezedent" and tryed the dornob. Then she felt the keys in her other jacket pocket, and tryed the first key. It worked! But!

The other door, the one closest to the begining of the hallway, opened and a old wite bald guy came out. Moley went OH NO in her hed and sliped in to her ofise and shut the dor qwietly. She sat down in a big chare behind her desk and hoped relly hard the guy didn't notise her, cuz she relly needed to plan what to do next. But alass! A nock hapened agenst the woden dor. Moley didn't move. But a nother nock hapened, and the guy went "Mr. Lemenson, sir, this is relly ergent!" So he new Moley was in the room, and Moley desided it wasn't worth it. She went up to the door and opened it with a sihe.

"Yes?" Moley sed with that kinda snoby bretheyness in her voice.

"Er…" the old guy gesterd to the inside the ofise.

"Oh, come in" went Moley, opening the dor all the wey before closing it. The old guy sat down in the chare in front of the desk and Moley took a seet on the big chare behind the desk. "So what is it?"

"The wiserd Moley Dubledore has escaped from the Pit, as you mite no by now." Any other person but Moley (and maybe not the actresses Merel Streep or Jenifer Everdene) wood have made a suprized fase at heering there own name from a bad guy, but Moley was a relly good actress. She was in the drama club back at Hockwards wen she was yonger and she stared in a bunch of plays. The only reson she qwit is cuz she was forced to. Moley's performences were so good that they alweys outshone the other acters werk, and they were alweys jelus. But the point is, Moley was a relly good actress.

"Yes, I herd."

"Well, Saten has informed me, as I am the Infermashen Keyman, that our sector might be in Dubledore's sites. She might atempt to destroy the food stockpiles and the livestock." Moley noded slowly before replying.

"What do you think we shood do about it?" Moley sed snerkly, but not with a smile. She acshelly new esactly how they shood've protected it from her, but she needed to relly make sure that evryone she talked to thought it was still Mr. Lemenson.  
"Uhm, well, I wood advise you to reqwest double the securety, and persenaly check on the locks, cameras, and other securety feetures." Moley stroked her man-chin, the little stubels pokey-pokeying at her fingers.

"I'll… grashesly take your advise. But I'll need you to stay in your ofise, in case of any more emergensy meseges. You can not, can not! leaf your ofise until I get back. We can't risk mising any mesages." The old man noded as Moley's tone of voise got louder and angryer.

"I-I'll go now." he sed nervusly, and he left the ofise in a hurry.

Moley sat for a bit after the Keyman left, making a plan in her hed. She had to sabotage both the livestock and also the blud bank if she cood. Moley thot the best way wood be to kill all the animels the demens kept, and get all the blood to spill on the ground so it wood be to germy to use. Moley figured out a wey to kill all the animels, but she still coodn't figure out a fast way to destroy the blud, but she needed to start rite awey so she just left it to solve later. Moley got up, locked the ofise, and went back to the hub room of the sector.

She rememberd from the map to go to the hall on her left. As she pushed open the duble dors, the stensh of roten meet got stronger. Moley coodn't help but let out a little "mmm" as she inhaled. At the end of the hall was a nother set of duble dors, but these ones were medel, and there was a scanny keypad thing on the wall. Moley scaned the ID card she used before and it werked. But. She still needed a fore number code! Moley just gessed 1667 and luckyly she was rite! Agen, Moley pushed open duble dors, but in the room she entered the lites were red and dim. And the room was humunges and had a dert flor. She cood here a bunch of moo's and she also got hit up the nostrels with cow poo smells. That smell she didn't like.

Moley breethed thru her mouth as she aproched the medel fances that kept in the cows. There wus a big feeding trey that at the moment was filled with grass pelets or something. Moley looked at all the big cows, serching for the one that looked the weekest. Fineally she did it, she spoted one with a broken leg and a skin diseese.

"You are the weekest link." Moley sed fastly. Then she closed her eyes and got redy to do some non-wand majics. Her mouth-breething went slower, and she reeched out with her mind to the brane of the week cow. She kinda went in its mind, and she went "spengiferm encelepoli" wich is the insane cow deseese. Not the mad cow deseese, it was diferent. Humens coodn't cech it (but demons cood), it killed the animels relly fast, it was contages thru airs, and it also terned the animels that cot it in to zombees after they died. So Moley had started the cowzombee proses.

After that, it was time to find the blud bank. Moley looked all around her like she turned around evrywere, and then she spoted it! A normel yelow lite at the opesit end of the room then were she enterd from! Moley joged towards it, her biger man feets hiting the dusty dert floor. The door was relly thick medel, Moley cood tell, as she nocked on it to get the feels of it. There was a nother keypad thing beside the door, like before, but this one was diferent. There was a tiny litle sticker that sed, "Enter the 5-didget code to get in to the blud bank. Hint: prisoner." Moley only had to think for like five seconds before she got a idea. She poked the numbers 2-4-6-0-1 in that order. The mashine went "beepbeepbeep!" but like in a lite way, not the kind of beeps that are more like "mrehmrehmreh!" Not that way.

So the door slid left in to the wall. Moley was impresed at the tecknolegy, and made a mentel note to implement the same kinda tecknolegy back at Hockwards once she managed to escape. But! Moley gasped and took a relly big jump back (and axeidentely breethed thru her nose, unforchenetly) at the desgusting suprize in the blud bank room!


	6. 5 - Runing

Only like fifteen minets before that, Ron was fully transformed in to his demony side, and he was furyes. He had lost Moley a wile ago in the confuseing rooms and halways that all ended up conected to eech other. But even tho it was a wile sense he lost Moley, Ron was just as ragey as before. Unluckyly for Than (it was short for Jonathan), who was only like two days awey from geting his promoshen, Ron wasn't just ragey, but he hadn't eeten any flesh or blud resently.

"Hey." groweld Ron like a starving hobo. Than turned around, but then took a relly big step back wen he saw Ron's brite red eyes that even demons didn't have. "Don't run…" Ron sed as he slinked up closer to Than. "Don't make me chase you too…" But Ron didn't have to worry about chaseing someone else, cuz Than was frozen like a nun on St. Patrick's Day.

Then Ron pounsed with relly big power! He nocked Than over and imedeitly, with his demon claws, tore awey the skins and musels covering his chest cavety. Than screemed louder then he ever did, even more then the time he steped on a tiny lego and it got lojed in his foot. And as Than screemed, Ron growled like a bludthersty lien as he dug deeper in to Than's chest. Fineally Ron saw wat he wanted: eternal orgens. He riped out the big liver from his body and tore away at it with his fangs. Ron gulped down the flesh redily and licked the bluds from his hands. But. He was relly far from full.

"GRAAAAAAA" Ron sed ragey and rory as he tore into Than's neck with his demon fangs. He riped strips and tares of neck-flesh off with his teeth and swalowed them hole, also drinking the blud from the gapeing woond.

Ron made a deep growely "mmm" kinda noise as he licked up all the blood. But as he ate his ragey-eyes went awey and he realized what he was doing. Ron felt bad, he never kiled anyone before. But he felt relly cunflicded inside cuz a part of him relly deep inside wasn't sorry and still wanted the devily blud and flesh of Than. But! Then rite as Ron wus crying Saten's footsteps eckoed in form behind him. But cuz Ron was hardly a footstep exepert, he kept crying like a little demon baby that acidently murderd someone. And so Saten went up and did a good Dad thing: he kicked awey the victem's body and gave his merdering son a hug. Ron sqweesed him relly hard back but in a loveingly way not in the way someone sqweeses a baby they relly want to kill. Lotsa peple get that feeling rite I'm asking for a frend ok. If u now plese just emale imjustsayin thanks.

"Dad wut hapened" Ron sed thru lotsa teers like if I had too say, maybe 40% more then not lots. Saten held Ron close to him.

"You're part demon, so you have a thing called fleshtherst. I'm so sory, so relly sorry Ron I didn't think you wood be efected by your fleshtherst yet. If I new you'd get inraged so much and so early, I wood've given you something to eat sooner."

"Fleshtherst?" repeeted Ron. Saten noded nowingly.

"All demons, both the kind that you are and the kind that are ethereals who have been in Hell for at leest 2 deys, are kinda like vampires. We drink blud and eat raw fleshes, and since your only demonec when you panic or get relly angry, you'll be relly fleshthersty all the times you turn into a demon. I was going to esplane it later but then Moley broke out."

"I- but coodn't I just eat fleshes now when I'm not demony?" axed Ron, relly not sure wether he was angry at his dad for not telling him about being fleshthersty, or happy becus his dad was acshully talking to him and cared about him, unlike his mortel parents.

"Unforchnetly, it won't do you much good. Fleshtherst is difrent then normal hunger, so eeting fleshes wen you aren't a demon won't stop it. I'm so sory Ron, if it wasn't for the dam wizerd Moley, this… no, relly all of the terible things that hapened to u woodn't have hapened!" Saten's fatherly instinks hapened then. "Ron, I swer to u, we'll get her back for evrything she did. She's still here, and that's what I came to tell you. We've found her."

* * *

Moley almost went barfey at the desgusting mess in the blud bank. A bludy corpse was hanging from the ceeling by a noose on its neck. It was bald, and it was cut up so relly bad that the pool of blud under it coverd all over the bank's flor, and was starting to leek out on to the dirt flor of the big room. The only reson Moley didn't go barfey is cuz the body smeled good and the smell kinda overroad the site of a deseprated body.

But now Moley didn't now what to do. She was thinking, before seeing the body and bluds, of doing non-wand majics and seting the blud room on fires. But now there was a roting corpse and bluds evrywere, and she was woried that the body was left for her on perpese. She new there were multepel dors to almost evry room, and so Moley new it was defenetely posible. So from that, Moley new it wasn't werth maybe geting traped in the blud bank, since she alredy set the combie (cow-zombie if your dum and don't get it) apockalipse in moshen.

Moley turned back around and was suprized agen, and this one was also relly bad. At the other end of the room was like ten gards, all coming towards her. Moley looked back to the blud bank and was prepared to go past the corpse, but then agents started poring out of that way also! She was traped! Traped in the poo-smelling dirt-flored giant cow warehouse! But! Moley had never given up before then. Not wen she was told to stop eeting so much shuger cuz of diabetus (she made up a spell that cured diabetus), not wen a demonicly sexy guy tryed to kill her dad and picpocet Hairy (she banished him and killed him for good) and not even wen a evil (but very smart and atracktive) lady tried to steel her husbend awey from her! She slotered that persen!

But then, Moley notised, why was the husbend-steeling lady standing rite there, at the hed of the gard-pack coming from the mane dor? And why was the sexy guy coming from the blud bank? Then Moley realized it! They were both evil, and both of them were kiled. So were else wood they go but Hell? (The last qweston was retoricel, just in case you get confused.)

"Hello Moley" spated Dreco Milfoy, walking closer to Moley with his wand in his hand wile the other gards stook back. But she notised his wand was diferent then ushuel. There were orenge snakey lines engraved in the wand, but they were glowing. "Admireing my wand?" sed Dreco evily and sexyly. Moley was relly pissed off at him, cuz the one thing she hated more then nip-slips were wand jokes (and also maybe dill pickle chips).

"Shut up Dreco," Moley sed. "Your worse then a nip-slip." Moley's super good insult confused Dreco a lot. His face went relly scrunchy as he tryed to figure out her sofistecaded humer.

"Your one to talk, Moley." interupted the evil husbend steeler Alexandra sudenly. "You just gave yourself awey, so even if we didn't now who you relly are, we wood now anyways." Moley gasped. She never even notised she was still a guy from the Polyjoose poshen. Moley had started to fell like she was ment to be in this body, like she belonged in it. "Speechless?" asked Alexandra, walking widely around Moley. "You'll be talking a lots more in the Torcher Chambre. Have you herd of the Mr. Thingy, Moley? Becuse we have one of those devises. And it gets peple to spill there secret beens evry time." In her hed to herself, Moley admited that Alexandra was scering her a little. "But the thing is Moley, we'll torcher you to deth even if you do talk. It's revenge."

"Why?" sed Moley relly angryly. "Why dose that dill-pickle-chip Saten keep saying how he relly wants revenge?" Alexandra smerked.

"You can ask him that wen your straped up to the torcher devises. Gards! Take her down!"

Alexandra made a relly big mistake rite then, when she sed with her mouth and lungs what the gards needed to do. It seems Alexandra didn't know that the only reson Moley was sucesfuly taken before was becuse it was a suprize.

As the gards made a cercle around her and Alex and Dreco backed away, Moley went in her brane agen. It was time for more non-wand majics.

"Conjerna Bleri" went Moley in her branes, and then a gosty-looking sord apeered in each of her hands. Moley dashed up in front of her and sliced-and-dised up a few gards in only like three secends. Moley jumped on there corpses as they fell and used them to hop over the other gards. She turned qwickly to throw one of her majic sords in to a gard, and it stabed thru his brane. Moley uncasted the one she threw awey and kept running to the mane exit. As she got close to the door, five more gards stormed in. She did the disarming spell on them, moshening with her empty hand, and all of them freeked out a lot cuz there arms just poofed awey. Moley cut off there heds anyways, thoh, just in case.

As Moley made it thru the mane dor, she turned around and re-enterd the code, hopeing it wood shut it. But it didn't! The gards were geting closer and closer, then Moley realized! She puled her ID card out and swiped in, then typed in 1667 agen.

Bang! The hevy medel door slamed shut (not that kind of hevy medel, there was no Metalicka) and Moley was relieved, even thoh it was only for a few seconds. She new there were majics that cood bust open the dor, so rite awey she took off agen, smashing the doors at the end of the hall open with her sholder-powers. Moley didn't stop runing. She had to make it to the data cores, cuz even if she woodn't escape, Moley wanted to make sure her deth acshelly did something.

Eventually Moley came to a jog, not able to keep up the pace. She relly hoped no other gards wood see her for a wile. Then! A meracules, red golf cart with painted on flames screeched up in front of Moley. First, she didn't think it was so meracules, but then the driver sed those six perfect werds.

"Care for a ride, Mr. Blood Prezedent?" Moley noded exasperedly.

"Yes, of corse." Moley got in the front seet and wiped off her manly forehed.

"Were you wanna go to?" asked the driver.

"Data cores, please." But then Moley realized something. "Why are you giving me a ride? You prolly know by know what's going on, and aren't you on Saten's side?"

"I know you're not the real Prezedent, I new this morning acshelly." Moley's face went shocked. "I'm a former acteress. Saten pulled my sole in from the Grey, and I had no choise. That's how it werks with the Grey, Saten mite handpick you, but Jeses mite too. Unforchenetly for me, I'm stuck down here in hell puting on plays for him. All I get out of it is this majical golf cart. It can go as fast as a rase car. And becuse of the terible condishens and low pey, almost evryone here hates Saten, other then the agents. They get the big bucks and the best rooms, so they tend to be pretty fatheful."

Moley was pretty not happy that she didn't no about evryone hateing Saten sooner, cuz it cood've saved her truble. Moley wood've asked more peples for help, and she's prolly be at the data cores way erlier, but she was thankful that she got at leest some help.

"Here's the sowth security door," sed the actress/driver as she pulled over the cart. "Its ushuelly the part of the securety rooms with the leest gards, but it conecs to a big ofise. The normel werkers prolly won't care that your there. Good luck." Moley steped out, but then she had a qweston.

"Wait!" she sed as the driver almost sped awey. She stoped and looked back at Moley.

"Yeah?"

"What's your name?" The driver pawsed for a bit.

"Jenifer Everdene" she sed, and she drove awey. Moley was super relly shocked for like the ninth time in Hell. She got shocked and realized things a lot, Moley realized. But! Moley herd some faint footsteps coming neerer!

Moley sliped in to the secerity room qwickly and shut the door carefully. She turned around and looked around the room. There were a few pantings on the walls, and some couches too. Noone was there, wich was good, but she cood here a bunch of computer sounds coming from thru the walls ahed of her. The ofise. There was both a dor on the left wall and a dor on the rite one too. Moley went to the one on the left, and as her hand was on the dornob she notised. Her hand wasn't a chunky man-hand anymore! Jenifer sed the peple woodn't care about her being there, but Moley was pretty sure she ment her as Mr. Lemenson. And to make it super more werse, Moley had no wey to change her apeerence without her wand: McGogall alweys sed trying transigerashen without a wand was one of the dangereser majic things to do!

But Moley sihed and starded to slowly terned the dornob anyweys. She had no other opshen but to hope the werkers didn't care or notise her. As she walked in to the giant offise, noone turned from there computers or left there cubeicels, to Moley's releef. She walked by at a reguler pase like someone wood go if they new wat they were doing, hoping agen for the peple to not think she was anyone speshel. As she went by, noone notised her, but! Moley saw no doors on the far awey walls! She was relly confused, but kept walking like she new evrything. (Moley almost new evrything, but I ment like as if she new evrything about Hell.)

As Moley aproched the walls, she notised something. A litle pach of the back wall neer the corner of the room looked diferent then the other walls. It kinda shimered like a beutifel orenge and red sunset, but it wasn't red and orenge ok, it just sparkeld. Moley wanted to just teleport to it, but even if she had her Elder Wand, she didn't want to draw atenshen to herself. Wen she was relly close to it and passing the last cubeicle, Moley saw in the corner of her eyeball the persen tern around. It scared Moley relly bad that the persen wood call the gards, but she kept walking. Then!

"No!" shouded the last worker as he stood up qwickly and reeched out to Moley. Moley started runing to the wall as she felt all the other werker's eyeballs slimeing all over her. Not literelly tho.

"No! Dont go! You gotta lisen!" Moley new she didn't have to lisen, she red the americen amenments and even the canadien charder of rites and freedems. She new her rites and freedoms evrywere. "Pleese!" Moley was alredy at the wall. Wen she toched the wall it felt normel, but a robotic voise went "DNAs acsepted" and the wall slid open loudly.

"Listen, its no use trying!" cried the werker, runing up to Moley who was alredy thru the dorway. "You won't be able to leeve, it dosen't werk that wey for reguler etherel beeings! Even if you cood its no beter out there, you'd prolly end up killing yourself becuse you'd loose all your hope!" Moley stoped and looked back to the man.

"I'm not etherel," Moley sed. "I'm a totelly alive and super powerfull Dubledor, and we never run out of hope. Anyweys, watever's here in the core rooms wood have to be beter then hiding from the agents out there."

"But—" The ofise door smashed open, like rite off the hinges, and it crashed in to the wall. The werker wached as werkers pored in to the room. His hed wipped back around to Moley, but she was alredy gone and the wall-door was shut. "But you are a etheral…"


End file.
